


Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow

by heylittleangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Castiel Bakes, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Dean Winchester says he's sorry, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Some Fluff, some dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-25 00:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20714717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylittleangel/pseuds/heylittleangel
Summary: It's been a few weeks ever since Chuck decided to end the world. They've been working non-stop since then, but Castiel thinks they deserve a break, at least one day.





	Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, how are you doing? I've been meaning to write something like this ever since the gag reel of s14 came out, and I finally managed to do it yesterday. I think it turned out pretty sweet and I'm actually happy about it. I hope you like it and let me know your thoughts!
> 
> The title is from one of Queen's songs and I recommend you to listen to it. I am in love with it (and with Queen as you'll see) and it's totally worth it. Actually, I would suggest you to listen to all of Queen's songs.
> 
> And, obviously, have the gif that really inspired me to write this.
> 
> Any and every mistakes are mine 'cause this wasn't beta'ed.

Castiel places the tin with the pie in the oven, closing it with a satisfied smile. He managed to follow all the instructions from Dean’s notebook—not that Dean would ever admit having it—and the pie seems edible. Castiel learned to accept little victories whenever he sees them and he’s counting this one as a victory. He still has one thing he wants to do and he knows that one is going to be slightly—a lot—more difficult.

He sets the timer for 45 minutes and walks out of the kitchen, making his way to the hallway where Dean’s room is. The whole bunker is silent, not even the sound of rustling pages or mugs being placed on the table around Castiel. It seems weird to Castiel, being as used as he is with Dean and Sam’s routine. Though these last few weeks haven’t been normal and Castiel normally hears more Dean cursing about not finding anything and Sam talking to different hunters all over the world on the phone more than anything.

Stopping in front of Dean’s door, Castiel gathers some courage to knock on it. He does it quietly first, knowing Dean’s being too jumpy these days, but he doesn’t hear anything in the room and Dean also doesn’t say anything. Castiel frowns and knocks again, a little harder this time. There’s still no answer, so he opens the door slowly, poking his head in to see anything. The room’s dark except for the lamp’s light on Dean’s table.

Dean has his head resting on his arms on top of the last book he was reading, eyes moving under his closed eyelids and brows furrowing with whatever dream he’s having. 

Castiel opens the door wider and walks inside, moving closer to Dean. He places his hand on Dean’s shoulder softly, shaking him slowly. “Dean?”

Dean raises his head abruptly, eyes widening. “I’m up, I’m up. What happened?”

Castiel raises his hands in a calming gesture. “Nothing, nothing happened. I just came to check on you.”

Looking Dean closely, Castiel can see he has dark bags under his eyes from sleepless nights, his eyes are red from reading as much as he has, and his cheeks are hollow, showing how much weight he has lost in a few weeks. His hair is flattened in some parts, others pointing in all directions, and Castiel can see it’s slightly greasy. Dean also has a pink post-it glued to his right cheek, a passage from the Bible written on it with Dean’s handwriting.

Dean yawns, rubbing his eyes. “I’m good, just reading.”

Castiel arches an eyebrow at him, pulling the post-it from Dean’s cheek. “Yes, I can see how well you are, Dean.” He glues the post-it on the book on top of the table. “You need to get some sleep, Dean. And eat.”

“Nah, I’m fine, I’m totally good, don’t worry about me.”

“No, you’re not. Dean, your face shows how bad you are. You look almost like your so-called ‘zombies’ look.”

Dean takes a deep breath, turning to his book. “I’m _ fine _. Now go away.”

Castiel sighs, looking at the ceiling. “Dean, _ please _. At least today. You need to rest and eat.”

“I said I’m fine. We don’t have time to rest or eat or any of that crap,” Dean’s voice grows angrier. “Now can you please leave me alone so I can go back to what I was doing?”

Castiel places a hand on Dean’s shoulder, making him look at him. “Dean, the world will still be ending tomorrow. The zombies and the souls from Hell will still be here as well. Chuck won’t suddenly decide to put everything back to normal and apologize if you decide to take a little time for yourself. We can and _ should _ take a day off. You, Sam, Jody, Ketch, Donna, me, and all of the other hunters, we’re all exhausted, and we all deserve at least a few hours away from all of it. The world won’t end if you look away from the books to shower, eat, or sleep because it has already ended. We’ll still have things to do tomorrow.”

Dean’s shoulders slump slightly as he sighs. “I can’t, Cas, I need to find a way to undo all of this.”

“We all do, Dean, and we will. We always find a way to make things right. But you won’t do any good if you keep going like this. We have already lost too much. Don’t make m—us, lose you too.”

Castiel can see the moment Dean's will to say no breaks and he knows he got a small victory already. He fights the smile from his lips, keeping a neutral expression.

Dean stands up and stretches himself. "Fine. Just today. But tomorrow we'll go back to reading the lore."

Castiel nods softly. "Of course, Dean."

"Can't believe I'm the one wanting to do research. The world's really broken." They chuckle softly, Dean's eyes coming to meet Castiel's. "Where's Sam?"

"He went out with Rowena. Said something about finding a book they think may have something to help us."

"That's good. Alright, what do you wanna do then?"

"Well, not to offend you or anything, Dean, but you do need a shower."

Dean smells his armpits, turning away fast with a disgusted face. "Yeah, you're definitely right. I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll meet you back in the kitchen."

Castiel smiles, nodding. "I'll see you there."

Dean walks to his closet while Castiel walks out of his room. He makes his way to the kitchen, feeling slightly better for being able to make Dean get out of his room without Dean screaming. Sam will be happy to know it.

Castiel sees that the timer still has fifteen minutes before going off, so he turns the coffee machine on to have it ready for when Dean gets out of the shower. He sits on the bench of the table, grabbing the book he left there earlier.

He immerses himself in the book, letting the sound of the coffee maker fill his ears. It doesn't take long before the whole kitchen starts to smell like coffee and apple filling from the pie. Castiel thinks they make a great combination and the bunker feels a little more like home with their smell.

The timer goes off at the same time Dean gets in the kitchen in new, clean clothes. The smell of Dean's citrus wash soap mixes with the pie and coffee ones, but for Castiel it makes it even better. More like home than anything else.

"Whatcha you cooking, Cas?" Dean peeks through the door of the oven as Castiel grabs a dishcloth to take the pie out of it.

"I made you an apple pie. I know it's one of your favourites and that makes you feel better when you eat."

He can see Dean blush slightly as Dean walks to the coffee machine, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. Castiel turns the oven off and puts the tin with the pie on the cooling rack—and Castiel still thinks it's weird that they need something just for it to cool something down but Dean didn't want any discussion about it, saying it was indispensable that they have one.

Castiel grabs plates for them as Dean pours coffee on both of the mugs, adding cream and sugar on Castiel's. He arches an eyebrow at Dean, who frowns at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just didn't realize you still knew how I used to drink coffee."

Dean shrugs, pretending indifference. "You used to drink so much, guess I got used to it."

Castiel smiles, resting against the counter behind him. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean smiles softly to him, putting the mugs on the table and sitting on the bench. Castiel watches as Dean drinks his coffee slowly, gaze unfocused while he states at nothing in particular. He knows Dean would call him creepy if he saw Castiel staring, but Castiel can't find in himself to care.

Him and Dean have been distant for so long, barely looking at each other when they pass by the other in the bunker, that Castiel just wants to take Dean's image in, the closest to the normal Dean Castiel has seen in months; the one that has to drink three cups of coffee in the morning before he can communicate with the people around him; the one that laughs rather easily and that likes to find a joke in any and everything that happens around him.

Castiel doesn't know when was the last time he saw Dean laugh or smile truly; not a snarky smile, or a smirk, or a fake smile. Dean barely leaves his room, only when he needs to eat or take new books to keep going on his unstoppable mission of fixing everything by himself, so Castiel barely sees him at all.

He startles when Dean snaps his fingers in front of him. "Hey, earth to Cas. Are you there, buddy?"

Castiel shakes his head. "Yes, I'm sorry, I was… I was lost in thought."

"I noticed. Are we eating that pie or what? I think it has cooled enough."

Castiel turns to the counter as Dean walks back to the table. He cuts the pie, putting a piece on each of the plates. He grabs two forks and hands one of them for Dean before taking the plates and sitting on the bench across Dean. Dean thanks him and they start eating in silence, each keeping their gaze on the pie in front of them.

The silence on them is uncomfortable, nothing like the usual silences Castiel used to share with Dean, when they were soothing and calming, just the other's presence being enough. There was no need to fill the silence because they were happy with it. Castiel wants to break the silence but he doesn't know how; he doesn't know what he could say that would break the tension between them.

Castiel sips his coffee slowly after finishing his pie, Dean getting another piece for him. It makes Castiel happy that Dean's at least eating, even if it's not something entirely healthy. But it's more than Castiel thought he would be able to do. Sam himself hasn't been able to make Dean eat anything.

Once they're both finished, Dean stands up to wash the dishes and Castiel stares at his back, one elbow on the table and his head resting on his hand. He doesn't have any specific thoughts, just some that come and go as they wish, none sticking long enough for Castiel to pay attention to it.

Dean stares at him as he dries his hands, and Castiel can almost see the question in his eyes. Neither of them says anything and Castiel only stands up and walks away, listening to Dean's footsteps following him to the war room.

Dean sits in one of the chairs as Castiel decides to do something bold. He smiles at Dean, telling him he'll be right back. He ignores Dean's confused expression as he makes his way to the room Dean said it's his—not that Castiel uses it a lot but he sure appreciates the gesture.

Castiel grabs the radio he got when he started spending more time in the bunker. He likes to listen to it while he reads or does stuff around the bunker—just as much as he likes to dance around in his room with his headphones on.

He goes back to the war room and sees Dean resting his arms on the table, a book already in front of him. Castiel pretends he doesn't see Dean close it and push it away quickly when he sees Castiel’s back. Castiel puts the radio on the table, plugging his phone in it. He chooses one of the songs, pressing play, and turning to Dean. 

Dean watches him with a careful expression, a brow raised and his chin resting on his hand. Castiel walks to him, stretching a hand towards him. The first chords of Ed Sheeran's Photograph start to play, filling the silence around them. 

Dean's expression changes to disbelief as he alternates his gaze between Castiel's stretched hand and the radio. “Ed Sheeran, really, Cas?”

Castiel smirks, hand still stretched towards Dean. “How do you know it’s Ed Sheeran, Dean?”

“Shut up.” Dean hides his face but Castiel can see him blushing.

Getting Dean’s hand to pull him, Castiel explains, “I have never danced with someone else before, Dean, and I know that you didn’t have many chances to do it either. So we can do it together.”

Dean lets himself get pulled into Castiel’s arms, their fingers intertwining automatically, as if they were made to do that. Castiel puts his left hand on Dean’s lower back as Dean’s left hand comes to rest on his neck. They stand close enough for Castiel to remember about Dean’s _ personal space _ but Dean himself doesn’t seem to mind it.

“Cas, c’mon, we don’t have ti—”

“But we do have time, Dean,” Castiel cuts him off. “One day off, that’s all I ask from you. Just because I’m an angel, it doesn’t mean I’m not tired and I am. We all are. And you have been doing more than is healthy to, more than what you normally do. Just this day, it’s all I ask. I can’t take seeing you doing this to yourself anymore.”

_ Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes _

_ But it's the only thing that I know _

_ When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes _

_ It is the only thing makes us feel alive _

Dean’s shoulders slump and he nods at Castiel, not saying anything. Dean rests his head close to Castiel’s shoulder, not exactly touching, but Castiel tilts his head enough for it to touch Dean’s. They sway slowly around the war room, the music being the only thing they can hear—except that Castiel can hear, or maybe he feels, how fast Dean’s heart is beating, and he knows his heart is probably doing the same.

_ Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul _

_ And it's the only thing that I know, know _

_ I swear it will get easier _

_ Remember that with every piece of you _

_ Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die _

“Cas, I’m sorry,” Dean says suddenly, hurrying the words out of him.

Castiel tilts his head, backing away just enough to look into Dean’s eyes. “For what?”

Dean scoffs, avoiding Castiel’s eyes. “Now _ that’s _ a good question. For everything, man. I’ve been acting like a dick lately. To you, to Sam, to every and anyone who comes close to me. It’s just… I wanted to be able to find a way to get things back together, ‘cause this is all on me and I should be the one to find a way to fix it. And I just… I can’t find _ anything _. Hundreds of books in this place and there isn’t a single fuckin’ thing that shows me how to fix this.”

_ And if you hurt me _

_ That's okay baby, only words bleed _

_ Inside these pages you just hold me _

_ And I won't ever let you go _

“This isn’t all on you, Dean. We are all to blame, partially. And it’s not like we forced God to do what he did. You chose to do the right thing in the end and that’s what really matters to me. And we’re family, aren’t we? If there’s one thing I learned these last years, is that family is what really matters and we always forgive each other. So I forgive you, Dean. You just need to forgive yourself now.”

Dean doesn’t answer, he only puts his head on Castiel’s shoulder, his nose touching Castiel’s neck slightly. It gives Castiel goosebumps but he can’t find in himself to care, only resting his head on top of Dean’s. The distance between them shortens, their chests now touching as they keep swaying.

Photograph ends and another music comes up, its melody sweetly on Castiel’s ears.

_ Love of my life, you've hurt me _

_ You've broken my heart and now you leave me _

_ Love of my life, can't you see? _

_ Bring it back, bring it back _

_ Don't take it away from me, because you don't know _

_ What it means to me _

_ Wait for me to come home _

They stop swaying around the room, staying practically on the same spot, just waving their bodies together as Freddy Mercury sings his love song in a sad voice. Castiel has listened to this song a hundred times but it always manages to touch his heart deeply. He hears Dean singing it lowly, almost in a whisper, and he whisper-sings it back.

_ You will remember _

_ When this is blown over _

_ Everything's all by the way _

_ When I grow older _

_ I will be there at your side to remind you _

_ How I still love you (I still love you) _

Castiel finally talks again, “You know we’ve known each other for eleven years, now?”

Dean chuckles softly. “Yeah. Hell of a time, huh?”

“Yes. One hell of a time,” Castiel gives him a small smile. He moves his head to be able to look into Dean’s eyes. “But it’s been the best eleven years of my life.”

Dean smiles sadly and they grow closer as another music starts playing.

_ Love me like there's no tomorrow _

_ Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it _

_ This is our last goodbye and very soon it will be over _

_ But today just love me like there's no tomorrow _

Castiel finally lets his lips touch Dean’s and he can’t think of anything else as they kiss each other sweetly. For an angel who knows thousands of languages and different words for the same thing, Castiel can’t think of any that could really make justice to how his first kiss with Dean feels like. It’s sweet and it’s slow and it’s hot and it’s mind-blowing and it’s too much but it’s too little at the same time. It’s everything and more than Castiel ever thought it could be.

They rest their foreheads together after, still swaying slowly. Castiel opens his eyes, meeting Dean’s green ones that finally seem happy for the first time in months. It makes Castiel smile automatically, Dean mirroring him.

“We’re two saps, aren’t we?” Dean chuckles, his eyes closing again.

Castiel nods against Dean. “But I’m happy to be a sap with you.”

The song comes to an end as they stop swaying, arms crossing around the other.

_ Tomorrow god knows just where I'll be _

_ Tomorrow who knows just what's in store for me _

_ Anything can happen but we only have one more day together, yeah _

_ Just one more day forever, so _

Castiel can feel Dean starting to sleepy, eyelids heavy as he fights to keep them open, movements getting slower. 

“You should go to bed, Dean.”

Dean shakes his head, hiding a yawn. “‘m fine.”

Castiel starts to sway them towards the hallway to the rooms, trying to get Dean to the room without him noticing. Doesn’t really work or Castiel just wasn’t as smooth as he wanted to be.

“Alright, fine, Cas,” Dean’s words are slow and dragged. “You win, I’ll go to bed.”

He lets go of Dean but keeps on hand on Dean’s waist. They walk to Dean’s room, Castiel using his powers to stop the radio and turn the lights off behind them. Dean opens his door, making his way to the bed and falling on top of it without worrying about anything that is on top of it.

Castiel shakes his head fondly, closing the door behind him. He takes all of the notes and books from Dean’s bed, putting them neatly on the table. He then sits on the bed, untying Dean’s boot laces—why did Dean put on boots to walk inside the bunker in the first place Castiel doesn’t know— and putting them by the end of the bed.

Dean mumbles incoherently and moves slightly, turning his head to Castiel’s side. Castiel stands up, taking the blankets from under Dean and rearranging him into a more comfortable position. He covers Dean and it’s about to turn the lamp off when Dean’s hand holds his arm.

“Can you… can you stay with me, Cas?” Dean looks at him apprehensively.

Castiel smiles softly. “Of course, Dean.”

He takes his own shoes off, along with the trenchcoat and suit jacket, placing them on the chair by the bed. He slips under the covers, Dean turning to lay on Castiel’s chest. Castiel moves slightly until he gets into a more comfortable position, putting one arm around Dean’s waist and his other hand intertwined with Dean’s.

Castiel turns the lamp off, closing his eyes and just letting Dean’s breathing takes all of his focus, and, for once, nothing more tries to fight him to take his peace away.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs I put were 'Photograph' from Ed Sheeran, 'Love of My Life' and "Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow' both from Queen.
> 
> And, as always, you can find me on [ tumblr ](https://gii-heylittleangel.tumblr.com)


End file.
